Dating Advice

Men, You Have Been Warned

It is known that Trish Stratus was the best WWE Women's heavy weight champion ever (yes, she was) and now it is also known that online dating is rising as fast as my excitement while watching Game Of Thrones. Therefore, it is only fair that I do my bit and warn all the men who swipe right to every specimen with a potential vagina. Men, heed my warning! ? We Belong To Someone Else: If you are one of those rare dudes looking for a serious relationship online, jokes on you when you swipe right endlessly and invite women for drinks within the first five minutes of having access to them. Most women online (50%) come with baggage they are not over, boyfriends they are bored with and lots of Instagram filtered photographs. Actually, 40% of women on Tinder are married, so be careful who you lay with, a heartbreak or a punch maybe coming your way. Screen Shot 2016-04-10 at 3.13.17 pm ? You Are Probably Voted Average: One of the biggest drawbacks of the online dating world (especially in India) is the gender ratio. Too many donuts with not enough holes. Hence, even though you maybe Bradley Cooper on the streets you are barely buff on the OkCupid sheets. But it's not you, 80% of men are rated average on OkCupid so the question to be asked is: what happened to inner beauty and women being open-minded? Screen Shot 2016-04-10 at 3.14.28 pm ? You Have Been Ghosted: I learn all my modern slang from younger cousins who are my real life urban dictionary but here's a lesson for you: "ghosting" is the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone when the subject is dating, but now you no longer wish to date. Simply put, you only have a 1/10 chance of a girl continuously responding to you online when the subject is getting jiggy with it. So, may the odds be with you (even though they kind of are not). Screen Shot 2016-04-10 at 3.15.05 pm ? We Love Free Food: Okay, by "we" I don't mean "me". I for one have been blessed with a Punjabi appetite that is regularly met with family feasts but there are a lot of shady pants out there that use dates every night for a free meal. Dilemma alert! To pay and be a gentleman or to split and be seen as unkind? I guess the lesson is to sway her with your personality and not your wallet (at least until you are sure you won't be blocked on Whatsapp post date). Screen Shot 2016-04-10 at 3.15.20 pm ? We Put Out: Okay, this might not be as alarming as I had anticipated this post to be. But 33% of women put out on the first date! Hurray! So, I guess if you can survive the baggage, rejection and monetary loss, you have a 1 in 3 chance of getting laid and getting STDs. The end. Fin. Screen Shot 2016-04-10 at 3.15.30 pm    

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